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A Hogwarts mystery with added cool stuff and lashings of new stuff.

• posted by Jon at 3:53 pm (BST), Tuesday May 13th 2008
• (read/write comments)

Hello my merry 'craticeers!

So much to tell you, so little inclination to sit here typing when there a ceiling waiting to be stared at and a counter just daring me to idly drum upon it with my fingers. Ah well….

Firstly - A MYSTERY!

On Saturday, in the Summertown branch, our lad Sam found a sealed brown envelope sat on the sofa, addressed 'For Videosyncratic'. Now, admittedly, handwritten correspondence in summertown usually transpires to be some kind of flowery letter of complaint ('Dear Sirs, Although I have admittedly had your dvd in my posession for two years, I feel the late fee of £20 is somewhat unreasonable - I could have BOUGHT it for that! Yours Faithfully, Lord and Lady Froofy Moneybags') but this turned out to have no letter at all in it, just what appears to be 2 signed photos of the cast of Harry Potter. I'm utterly baffled and intrigued as to who our mysterious benefactor was and I was riased well so would like to be able to thank them. I know Hermione drinks in the wine bar across the road there - could it be her doing? Anyway, let me know if you know. Ta.

Secondly - FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!

FCBD was the Saturday before last and went unexpectedly fantastically, we gave out LOADS of free comics, the 2000AD signing was really busy and the guys all had a great time. The gig in the evening was stupendous too. I want tot hank everyone who came and made it fun, Phantom Theory, Smilex and The Palce of Righteous Justice - who all put on an amazing show, Richard 'Wolverine' Morley who will always be my favourite superhero and deserves a comic strip of his own, but most of all I want to thank my staff - Laura, Zoe, Liam and Dan who worked really hard all day and don't get enough kudos from me in general. Actually, they probably get as much as they deserve.

Thirdly - COOL STUFF!!!!

I went to the Bristol comic convention this weekend. My first comic con.  It was VERY nerdy. I turned a blind eye to it's more worrying aspects and made the most of it. I got a bunch of stock signed for your purchasing enjoyment, it'll be on the shelves today and once it's gone, it's gone.

DAN DARE ISSUE 1 - SIGNED BY ARTIST GARY ERSKINE

LOBO - PORTRAIT OF A BASTICH (BOOK) - SIGNED BY SIMON BISLEY (!!)

ALICE IN SUNDERLAND - SIGNED AND FEATURING A HAND DRAWN ORIGINAL SKETCH OF THE MAD HATTER BY BRYAN TALBOT

We only have a few of each, so I advise you make your visit a soon one.

NEW RELEASES - DVDS

BLOODRAYNE:
I know some of you have heard of Uwe Boll. This is his latest. He is widely acknowledged as the worst film director working in the world today. Many of compared him to Ed Wood, but I'd argue he is the antithesis, Wood had a vision which he was artistically unable to achieve. Boll has no vision and has great financial success as he concentrates far more on the business side rather than the artistic. He views his films as investments and serves a large pool of shareholders in his native Germany. His business patter is rather clever, he comes up with a blatantly commercial film idea (often adaptations of video games), puts together a miniscule budget and blows most of it on big name actors (he's managed to get Ben Kingsley in this one!) whom he pulls from a list of actors who have just had projects fall through or have some time off and fancy making some quick, easy money on films unlikely to bother the cinema. This would all be good if the man could write or direct but he really can't. His films surpass 'so bad it's good' and land squarely in the 'unmitigated shit' category. He became a bit of an internet celebrity forhis prodigous sub-par output and, sick of being labelled shit by critics issued his critics a challenge - anyone who had written him a bad review was welcome to join him for 3 rounds in a boxing ring. This actually happened. Amusingly (that shrewd mind of his working overtime), amongst the conditions of applying, all potential challengers had to be below a certain weight and strictky amateur. Boll, it transpired, was above this weight and trained to semi-professional standards, so (despite assuring them before the matches that it was all just silly fun)  he beat the crap out of his critics. Obviously he has claimed this as a vindication of his work. Genius. Anyway… Bloodrayne… shit.

ALIENS VS PREDATOR 2: REQUIEM:
Talking of shit, here's some shit!
What the fuck happened to the Alien franchise? It's properly embarassing  the shit they're serving up now. The first 4 Alien films were always interesting. Each one gave an exciting new director a chance to show the world their chops. Ridley Scott, James Cameron, David Fincher, Jean-Pierre Jeunet. The last two weren't perfect, but they were INTERESTING. Then they decided to team the Aliens up with the predators and gave the job to Paul W.S. Anderson. If Uwe Boll is the worst director working today, Anderson is waiting in the wings to nick his crown. Anderson is a true anomaly which highlights all that is wrong with the business. He makes films which are amazingly commercial and amazingly bad. Of course an Aliens vs predator film, highly marketed, will be a box office success, regardless of whether every single person leaving the cinema goes 'uh, that was fucking awful!'. So, on paper, Anderson is a succesful director. His films have acheived the soulless status of being utterly shit and utterly profitable - a regular occurance since the film studios were taken over fully by faceless global corporations. They didn't actually use Anderson for this sequel to his recent shitfest. They used two brothers who have never made a film before but have a big history in visual effects. It's shit.
Many have speculated about an Alien film where the aliens finally make it to earth. Of course, filmmakers of this calibre don't have the vision to muse on an epic level and contain thie invasion to a tiny American town surrounded by forest. So ionstead of the global war that one might hope for, it really is just a rubbish horror movie in which a couple of monsters attack redneck residents of a tiny town. If you'll be so good as to allow me to reveal the ending for  you (you weren't going to watch it) it concludes with perhaps the most genius display of laziness from a writer - the airforce drop a nuclear bomb on the town killing everyone and everything in it. I mean, that is genius laziness. There isn't a film I can think of with which that could be the ending. It;s so definitive. Imagine, if you will, The Usual Suspects - who is Keyser Soze? Doesn't matter - kaboom! Casablanca - will Rick really get on the plane? Who cares? kaboom! Citizen Kane - what is Rosebud? It's insignificant! KABOOM!
Genius. Yet also… shit.

THE DEATHS OF IAN STONE:
Uber make up dude Stan Winston directs what can only be described as a gory version of Groundhog Day. Every day this bloke wakes up to be killed in a horrible way. I don't know much about it above it was filmed in London. So it could be cool. But it's probably shit.    

THE GOOD NIGHT:
This one sounds interesting. Martin Freeman from The Office stars as a failed musician who meets the girl of his dreams… in his dreams. Supporting cast include Simon Pegg (why they didn't feel the need to put his photo on the cover is beyond me!), Danny Devito and Jarvis Cocker!

PS I LOVE YOU:
Chickflickorama. Hilary Swank as a recent widow who's dead husband (300's Gerard Butler - probably not dripping with chip fat this time) leaves her a series of notes designed to get her over him. I believe the 'PS' stands for 'probably shit'.

WALK HARD:
I dunno, I kind of liked this one. I think John C Reilly has long deserved centre-stage, but I'm not sure this was the ideal vehicle for his specific talents (why has nobody ever cast him as a pirate, for fucks sake? He'd be an AMAZING pirate!!!). Still, it's amiable fluff, lampooning Walk The Line and telling the fake life story of Dewey Cox from the brith of rock and roll right up to the modern age. It's written by Judd Apatow, the guy behind Superbad, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The 40 Year old Virgin (and the criminally overlooked TV show Freaks and Geeks). Worth watching if only for a string of inspired cameos including Jack White of The White Stripes as Elvis and Jack Black and Paul Rudd as Paul McCartney and John Lennon.

WRISTCUTTERS:
Patrick Fugit, the kid out of Almost Famous stars as a recent suicide who finds himself in a frustratingly dull purgatory. Tom Waits co-stars. Could be good.

That's it for flicks.

COMICS - ALL WILL BE ON THE SHELVES BY THURSDAY NIGHT:

100 BULLETS #91
ABSOLUTE SANDMAN HC VOL 03
ALL NEW IRON MANUAL
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #559
ARMY OF DARKNESS #9 LONG ROAD HOME
BATMAN #676 RIP
BATMAN #676 VAR ED RIP                                  
BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL #17                                  
BATMAN THE JOKERS LAST LAUGH TP
BATMAN THE RESURRECTION OF RAS AL GHUL HC
BLACK SUMMER #6 (MR)
BLEACH TP VOL 01
BLEACH TP VOL 02 (C: 1-0-0)
BOOSTER GOLD #9
BPRD 1946 #5 (OF 5)
BTVS SEASON 8 TP VOL 02 NO FUTURE FOR YOU
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #11
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #12
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #4 FINAL VER
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #6
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #8  
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #9
CAPTAIN BRITAIN AND MI 13 #1
CASANOVA #14
DMZ #31
EVIL DEAD #4 (OF 4)
FINAL CRISIS SKETCHBOOK
GEN 13 #20
GENEXT #1 (OF 5)
GIANT SIZE INCREDIBLE HULK #1
GOON #24
GOTHAM UNDERGROUND #8 (OF 9)
GREEN ARROW BLACK CANARY #8
GREEN LANTERN CORPS #24
GUARDIANS OF GALAXY #1
HUNTRESS YEAR ONE #1 (OF 6)
IRON MAN LEGACY OF DOOM #2 (OF 4)
JOSS WHEDONS FRAY FUTURE SLAYER TP
LAST DEFENDERS #3 (OF 6)
LOCAL #11 (OF 12)
MANGA SHAKESPEARE HAMLET GN
MANGA SHAKESPEARE MIDSUMMERS NIGHT DREAM GN
MANGA SHAKESPEARE TEMPEST GN
MARVEL SPOTLIGHT HULK MOVIE
NEW EXILES #6
NEWUNIVERSAL SHOCKFRONT #1 (OF 6)
PUNISHER #57 (MR)
RAY HARRYHAUSEN FLYING SAUCERS VS EARTH #1 (OF 4)
RETURN O/T GREMLINS #3 (OF 3)
SECRET INVASION #1 (OF
SECRET INVASION #2 (OF
SECRET INVASION FANTASTIC FOUR #1 (OF 3)
SERENITY BETTER DAYS #3 (OF 3)
SIMON DARK #8
SUPERMAN #676
THUNDERBOLTS #120
TITANS #2
TOP 10 TP BOOK 01
UN-MEN #10
WALKING DEAD #49
WASTELAND #15
WOLVERINE #65
WOLVERINE AMAZING IMMORTAL MAN BLOODY TALES
WONDER WOMAN #20
X-MEN LEGACY #211
YOUNG LIARS #3

Phew!
Well, that's it. The website is being redesigned at the moment and you can expect that to be active and awesome very soon.

Enjoy the sunny weather, ya bastards. You'll all come crawling back once autumn lays it's icy dead hand upon your shoulders.

Jon VS Boll